It's funny how you develop friendships and relationships in places like this without ever having met the people in person. I've had internet friends offer me a place to stay if I ever visited their country, reach out to me when I mentioned a issue I was having to share their experience in hopes of helping. I suspect if we met in person, we would probably make even closer relationships because we have already cut each other tons of slack because the written conversation can always be misunderstood or misinterpreted.
I always struggle with what is the correct approach. But I have to say that regardless of the timing or the situation, I have never had anything but positive feedback from families when I reached out to them over a loss or an illness. Some people need a lot of support during the trials that life throws at them and some need zero support. I suspect most fall somewhere in between. But I also believe that no matter what their sentiments are regarding support, it's always comforting for them to hear that others are thinking of them.
Regarding pancreatic cancer. I too have noticed that there seems to be a lot of it. Same with multiple myeloma. PC took my wife's cousin at 60. She moved in with him so he would not be alone and she stayed with him for 9 months until he passed. Since then, I've heard of several more who have come down with PC. Makes you wonder if it is the food we eat, the chemicals in the air, the chemicals in our car interiors, something in the water we drink, the beverages or some combination. I doubt that we'll ever know. We know that Round Up is bad and causes Lymphoma. My best man used Round Up all the time. He was obsessed with his yard. He was diagnosed with Lymphoma about 3 years ago. Not sure we'll ever get a straight answer as to why cancer is so prevalent these days. It could simply be that they could not diagnose it years ago. All you can do is hope for the best and play the cards that you are dealt.