Random Humor

[462]

What did the Mexican fireman name his twin sons?



Hose A and Hose B.

For those who know Filipinos the humor will be evident. For those who don't, oh well.
What do Filipinos call two pilots?



A pair of pliers.

 

[Snakeoil]

Q: How do you know the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia?
A: If it was invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.

Q: What does a girl from Columbus do if she's not in bed by 10pm? A: Go Home.

Mitty, that joke can be used at parties to set up a friend. You just change the state to something like the street that they grew up on. You preface it by saying something like, I just read an an article and you can't believe what I just learned. Then you adjust the story from that point to focus on the friend who is about to get his stones busted in a public forum. I have another one that I'll share later.

 

[Snakeoil]

What did the Mexican fireman name his twin sons?

Hose A and Hose B.

For those who know Filipinos the humor will be evident. For those who don't, oh well.

What do Filipinos call two pilots?

A pair of pliers.

Normally if someone asks their wife, "Have you seen my khakis" it would mean they are looking for a pair of pants.

But in Boston, it means that they cannot start their car.

 

[richhodg66]

A woman I know is really into taking selfies and she wanted one in the shower, but the foggy nature of the hot shower made the picture all blurry.

Seems she has Selfie steam issues.

 

[Rick]

A woman I know is really into taking slefies and she wanted one in the shower, but the foggy nature of the hot shower made the picture all bluffy.

Seems she has Selfie steam issues.

 

[Mitty38]

One of our furnace operators was steeling and selling the ingots illegally.
This only goes to say, he who smelt it, dealt it.

 

[Rick]

 

[Rick]

 

[Tom]

A priest, a preacher, and a rabbit walk into a bar. The bartender asks the rabbit "What'll you have, pal?"
The rabbit looks around and says "I don't know....... actually, I don't think I'd even be here if it wasn't for auto correct. "

 

[RBHarter]

I don't believe I've laughed that much in some time .

 

[Snakeoil]

Mrs O'Leary and Mrs. Murphy have been grocery shopping together for over 30 years. Every Saturday, they walk to the market and do their shopping. So, this one day they are in the produce section. Mrs. O'Leary walk over to the case, picks up two potatoes turns and says,

"You know, Mrs. Murphy, these two potatoes remind me of me husband's testicles."

"Good heavens!!", responds Mrs. Murphy, "Keep your voice down, woman! We're in a store and someone is liable to hear you."

Mrs. O'Leary simply shrugs and then Mrs. Murphy asks in a very low voice,

"So... are they really that big??"

"Oh no," says Mrs. O'Leary. "They're that dirty."

 

[4060MAY]

newly wed Amish couple checking into the local motel
clerk asked, "would you like the bridal"
groom replied " no thanks I'll just hang on till she gets used to it"

 

[Mitty38]

 

[Snakeoil]

I think we should make this the forum theme song.

>

 

[Michael]

What do folks from Perth, Western Austrailia refer to themselves as?

Perthons

 

[shuz]

A teacher once told me, "Don't waste time learning to spell correctly; someday there will be a thing called Autocorrect. "
To that advice, I will eternally be grapefruit!

 

[Jeff H]

Glad to see the sense of humor hasn't waned, @shuz . Hope rehab is going well.

 

[RicinYakima]

 

[Michael]

Someone had better step up his game plan!

 

[richhodg66]

I took my dog to the park to play Frisbee. He was hopeless. I think I need to find a flatter dog.